The Do It At Home Chemo Kit

So I am just starting my fifth Chemo Treatment and it has been an interesting experience so far. As I have been watching and as I ask questions I have found out a lot about what is being put into my body every week. So the questions first started when I saw the gown and extra thick gloves that are used by the nurses when administering the Chemo drugs. so as I asked about it and I was told that the gown and gloves (see attached photos of Keen, my nurse) were because the drugs (and i use that term loosely) were considered corrosives! Wow, the images and fright that conjures up. then I went home a couple of weeks ago and I saw a bill for one Chemo treatment and I was even more horrified. Let me get this straight, I sit and allow Corrosive Drugs to be put into my body and my insurance company and I get to pay thousands of dollars for the experience.
So about this time my mind started racing and I decided that with some simple products found around home I could do it my self and save a ton of money. So the following is my first shot at a do it at home Chemo Kit which by the way will come with a months supply of hair in a can from Ronco.

One 12 Oz. bottle of 409 cleaner (aintbacterial is best)
Two cells worth of battery acid (best if from a very large truck)
.5 Gallons of Diesel fuel (this can be siphoned from the same large truck with the Chemo tubing)

You will use the products in the same order as listed above but a flush with tap water will be required between products. The kit will include all needed supplies except for the Battery acid and diesel fuel (this is due to the desire that they come from a large truck and the cost of said truck). This process can take place in your own home and in the comfort of your own bed. This will also add to the cost savings due to the lack of need for medical facilities (at least for now).
**This treatment is strictly experimental and comes with no guarantees so please use it at your own risk.
**Please consult with your loved ones due to the fact that this is an experimental procedure and their help will be needed in the process of administering the process.